NBA Power Rankings According to the Roy Family (And Friends)

We’re a quarter of the way through the 2021-22 NBA season and like any good business, teams are evolving before our eyes. The Warriors’ stock is back to pre-Durant levels, the Suns can’t fucking lose, while the Lakers are just trying to survive the next shareholders meeting. But the fun thing about the NBA is that anything can happen over the next 60-plus games. Teams that have a hot first can still find themselves tanking at the season’s end, middling teams can get hot down the stretch, and injuries can and will wreak havoc on a team’s bottom line. As the calendar flips to December it’s time to buckle down, consolidate power, and for some, it might be time for a blood sacrifice to scrape their way into the play-in tournament.

1.) Golden State Warriors

2.) Phoenix Suns

3.) Brooklyn Nets

4.) Milwaukee Bucks

5.) Utah Jazz

6.) Miami Heat

7.) Chicago Bulls

8.) Philadelphia 76ers

9.) Washington Wizards

10.) Atlanta Hawks

11.) Los Angeles Clippers

12.) Charlotte Hornets

13.) New York Knicks

14.) Dallas Mavericks

15.) Minnesota Timberwolves

16.) Denver Nuggets

17.) Boston Celtics

18.) Los Angeles Lakers

19.) Cleveland Cavaliers

20.) Portland Trail Blazers

21.) Memphis Grizzlies

22.) Toronto Raptors

23.) Indiana Pacers

24.) Sacramento Kings

25.) San Antonio Spurs

26.) Oklahoma City Thunder

27.) New Orleans Pelicans

28.) Detroit Pistons

29.) Orlando Magic

30.) Houston Rockets

All-Time NBA Mega-Draft: Coaches

All great teams need a great coach. To round out our mega-draft we decided to draft 30 legendary coaches, one for each team. We went in reverse order so Michael Jordan doesn’t get everything he wants.

Pick 1: San Antonio Spurs (John): Phil Jackson

Stats: 11 NBA Championships, 1155 Wins

The greatest coach of all time to everyone except Scottie Pippen.

Pick 2: New York Knicks (Phil): Gregg Popovich

Stats: 5 NBA Championships, 1310 Wins

Reigned over the Spurs dynasty for 20 years but hasn’t done much without Tim Duncan.

Pick 3: New Orleans Pelicans (John): Pat Riley

Stats: 5 NBA Championships, 1210 Wins

The true sex appeal of the showtime Lakers in the ’80s.

Pick 4: Los Angeles Lakers (Phil): Red Auerbach

Stats: 9 NBA Championships, 938 Wins

The Lakers getting the Celtics legend who tormented them 50 years ago is a perfect pick.

Pick 5: Orlando Magic (John): Chuck Daly

Stats: 2 NBA Championships, 638 Wins

Won with the Bad Boy Pistons, he can handle Iverson and Harden.

Pick 6: Oklahoma City Thunder (Phil): Steve Kerr

Stats: 3 NBA Championships, 376 Wins

Leader of the Warriors dynasty walked into a championship team.

Pick 7: Atlanta Hawks (John): George Karl

Stats: 1 Western Conference Championship, 1175 Wins

One of the best coaches to never win a championship.

Pick 8: Portland Trail Blazers (Phil): John Kundla

Stats: 4 NBA Championships (1 BAA Championship), 423 Wins

Won five championships before your parents were born.

Pick 9: Los Angeles Clippers (John): K.C. Jones

Stats: 2 NBA Championships, 553 Wins

Led arguably the greatest team ever with the 1986 Celtics, so he knows how to coach a super team.

Pick 10: Sacramento Kings (Phil): Erik Spoelstra

Stats: 2 NBA Championships, 607 Wins

Arguably the most underrated coach ever thanks to LeBron.

Pick 11: Brooklyn Nets (John): Don Nelson

Stats: 0 NBA Championships, 1335 Wins

Uncle Donny is going to start his own grow house on the sidelines of the Barclays Center.

Pick 12: Toronto Raptors (Phil): Larry Brown

Stats: 1 NBA Championship, 1327 Wins

KG is probably going to go full Sprewell and choke the shit out of Larry Brown, and he’ll be out in two years.

Pick 13: Chicago Bulls (John): Lenny Wilkens

Stats: 1 NBA Championship, 1332 Wins

A better coach than a player, and he’s a Hall of Fame player.

Pick 14: Cleveland Cavaliers (Phil): Billy Cunningham

Stats: 1 NBA Championship, 454 Wins

See Lenny Wilkens.

Pick 15: Dallas Mavericks (John): Red Holzman

Stats: 2 NBA Championships, 696 Wins

Mark Cuban is going to love having a coach who doesn’t know what crypto is.

Pick 16: Golden State Warriors (Phil): Jerry Sloan

Stats: 2 Western Conference Championships, 1221 Wins

With Sloan the Warriors will get as close to a championship as a team can without ever actually winning one.

Pick 17: Memphis Grizzlies (John): Rudy Tomjanovich

Stats: 2 NBA Championships, 527 Wins

Hopefully, Michael Jordan will retire halfway through the season.

Pick 18: Washington Wizards (Phil): Jack Ramsay

Stats: 1 NBA Championship, 864 Wins

Doctor Jack is just what the Wizards need to win their first championship since 1978.

Pick 19: Detroit Pistons (John): Rick Adelman

Stats: 2 Western Conference Championships, 1042 Wins

Rick Adelman will be fine if he remembers to play his best players more than half the game.

Pick 20: Boston Celtics (Phil): Bill Russell

Stats: 2 NBA Championships, 341 Wins

Bill Russell in Boston, what more do you need?

Pick 21: Houston Rockets (John): Doc Rivers

Stats: 1 NBA Championship, 992 Wins

Doc won his championship with a big-three, now he has a big-15.

Pick 22: Philadelphia 76ers (Phil): Nick Nurse

Stats: 1 NBA Championship, 138 Wins

The newest head coach on the list won a championship with Toronto which is all you need to know.

Pick 23: Minnesota Timberwolves (John): Rick Carlisle

Stats: 1 NBA Championship, 836 Wins

Seems like he could actually be the savior the Timberwolves need.

Pick 24: Phoenix Suns (Phil): Mike D’Antoni

Stats: 0 NBA Championships, 672 Wins

D’Antoni back in Phoenix will be a beautiful thing.

Pick 25: Milwaukee Bucks (John): Bill Fitch

Stats: 1 NBA Championship, 944 Wins

Dude just needs to corral Wilt, which shouldn’t be hard in Milwaukee.

Pick 26: Charlotte Hornets (Phil): Tyronn Lue

Stats: 1 NBA Championship, 175 Wins

Ty Lue should just let Bill Russell coach.

Pick 27: Utah Jazz (John): Dick Motta

Stats: 1 NBA Championship, 935 Wins

Magic is probably going to get Dick fired by Thanksgiving.

Pick 28: Denver Nuggets (Phil): Larry Costello

Stats: 1 NBA Championship, 430 Wins

LeBron is going to get Larry fired by Christmas.

Pick 29: Miami Heat (John): Doug Moe

Stats: 0 NBA Championships, 628 Wins

The Heat are going to score 180 points per game.

Pick 30: Indiana Pacers (Phil): Tex Winter

Stats: Assistant Coach with Phil Jackson for 9 NBA Championships, Triangle offense guru

Probably the best assistant coach of all time. Bringing him back to run the triangle with MJ will work again.